One huge issue that's really bothering me involves my amazing hubby. He truly is one of the nicest people in the world and he goes above and beyond to express his love for me every day. He has given me an anniversary card, with a personalized message, every month since we started dating... Yeah every.single.month! He calls me every day on his lunch break. He surprises me with flowers. He showers me with words of affirmation, and does so much more. So, what's the problem? I am insecure. All of these things occur, but I find myself regularly thinking he's checking out other women, accusing him of not wanting to be with me, accusing him of wanting every pretty woman we pass, etc. we've gotten into some arguments about this and after he spends hours making me believe him, it quickly fades and again I'm accusing him. Again, he is such an honest and faithful man. So, why do I do this? Why do I feel this? Why do I think these things? I truly believe it is because I am insecure.
In my quest to learn so strategies to overcome this problem I've had for as long as I can remember, I found 4 main indications that may prove insecurity is an issue. They are... Defensiveness, judgementalisms, selfishness, and Indulgence. So, I spent some time reflecting upon if I exhibited these characteristics....
DEFENSIVENESS: can we stand to have our opinion challenged. Can we take others input? I struggle with this. I often become very defensive when others try to offer input or challenge my beliefs or methods of doing things.- even simple things like if someone questions my choice on which road to take. I get irritable and snap back. I find that I do this because I think the person is putting me down, calling me an idiot (without saying it), or just thinks I can't do anything. Is that insecurity?
JUDGEMENTALISM: Do you destructively instead of constructively criticize? Guilty! I often find fault in others and tear them down, not with the people I love (I don't hunk) but people I feel threatened by. For example, if I am with my husband and he tells me something awesome a female coworker did or any female, I find myself pointing out there faults. I am sad just admitting this. It makes me feel like a mean, horrible person. I was reading that when I do this, it is because I need built up and my distorted mind believes if I tear others down, I will feel like I am superior to them.
SELFISHNESS: I feel this one is pretty self explanatory. I often find myself seeking attention and trying to get my own way.
INDULGENCE: wow! This one totally relates to the eating disorder. Often times, when we dont feel like we get the love and acceptance we long for, we turn to indulgent addictive behaviors. In therapy, I've heard ,any times how I use the eating disorder as a way to meet needs that I don't feel can ever be met outside of Ed.
So, obviously I have issues with insecurity, but how can I overcome them?For me, I truly believe that in order to overcome insecurity, I need to learn and accept how much God loves me. I cannot keep looking to other people, accomplish,ends, possessions, and certainly not Ed to make me feel loved, wanted and secure. This is a battle that I am going to start fighting today, because I truly believe it is impossible to have healthy relationships and a fulfilling life being insecure. So, today I am going to commit to spending time, everyday, with God and learning about his love for me and accepting his love for me.
Here is scripture that it I will be using...
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
God loves you so much that He takes great delight in you! He sings over you like a mother singing lullabies over her child! I can’t think of any place more secure than a baby iin its mother’s arms, and that mom singing a lullaby to her child! God says, “that’s how much I love you! That’s what I have to offer you! I have security for you! You don’t have to be insecure. You don’t have to resort to destructive forms of behavior in order to feel loved and to feel good about yourself.”
If you have accepted Christ you are God’s beloved child! He adores you! He loves you! He even likes you! He wants to hang out! If you haven’t accepted Christ yet – God longs for you to do so! He wants to sing His love song to you too! God wants you to experience incredible joy by overcoming you insecurities by His love!
Before Jesus went back to heaven He said this to His followers: “Until now you have not asked for anything in My name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy.” John 16:24 (NCV)
Circle, “the fullest possible joy.” God wants you to experience the “fullest possible joy!” God celebrates your life! Therefore you should celebrate your life too! Celebrate the lives of those you love!
Maybe there is someone here who doesn’t feel loved. You don’t feel special. You don’t feel treasured. I want to stand before you as God’s spokesmen and ask you to repent. Repent of not feeling loved. Embrace your status before God as being loved by God. Embrace your status as his treasure, the apple of His eye. Embrace the view of yourself that God has of you!
God’s Word isn’t just about teaching and telling people what they’ve done wrong and what they ought to do and should have done but its about telling us that God loves us!
We are loved. WE CAN BEAT INSECURITY! We can beat worry. We can get out of debt. We can develop discipline to spend time in the Word and prayer. We can overcome eating disorders. We can restore relationships. We can reach people with the Good News about Jesus! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
Too much of our thinking is just the opposite. It is not positive and uplifting. It is not hope-filled and faith-filled, and certainly not love-filled. It’s, “poor me, nobody loves me. Nobody wants to hang out with me. Nobody cares.” Who wants to bathe in that kind of dirty water? God does love you! Those who love God love you! Turn to several people all around you and say, “God loves you and so do I!”
We can overcome our insecurity because the greatest individual in the universe, God Himself, loves us! We can be significantly more loving, noticeably more joyful, more visibly at peace. Jesus really can make a difference in our lives. It is real. It is significant. It is visible.
If you have accepted Christ you are God’s beloved child! He adores you! He loves you! He even likes you! He wants to hang out! If you haven’t accepted Christ yet – God longs for you to do so! He wants to sing His love song to you too! God wants you to experience incredible joy by overcoming you insecurities by His love!
Before Jesus went back to heaven He said this to His followers: “Until now you have not asked for anything in My name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy.” John 16:24 (NCV)
Circle, “the fullest possible joy.” God wants you to experience the “fullest possible joy!” God celebrates your life! Therefore you should celebrate your life too! Celebrate the lives of those you love!
Maybe there is someone here who doesn’t feel loved. You don’t feel special. You don’t feel treasured. I want to stand before you as God’s spokesmen and ask you to repent. Repent of not feeling loved. Embrace your status before God as being loved by God. Embrace your status as his treasure, the apple of His eye. Embrace the view of yourself that God has of you!
God’s Word isn’t just about teaching and telling people what they’ve done wrong and what they ought to do and should have done but its about telling us that God loves us!
We are loved. WE CAN BEAT INSECURITY! We can beat worry. We can get out of debt. We can develop discipline to spend time in the Word and prayer. We can overcome eating disorders. We can restore relationships. We can reach people with the Good News about Jesus! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
Too much of our thinking is just the opposite. It is not positive and uplifting. It is not hope-filled and faith-filled, and certainly not love-filled. It’s, “poor me, nobody loves me. Nobody wants to hang out with me. Nobody cares.” Who wants to bathe in that kind of dirty water? God does love you! Those who love God love you! Turn to several people all around you and say, “God loves you and so do I!”
We can overcome our insecurity because the greatest individual in the universe, God Himself, loves us! We can be significantly more loving, noticeably more joyful, more visibly at peace. Jesus really can make a difference in our lives. It is real. It is significant. It is visible.
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