Monday, September 10, 2012

Walk the walk

Do you ever feel like you just want/need to talk, but you really have no idea where to start or if you really have anything to say? I've heard that when you feel this way, it's best to just randomly talk/write and more than likely, things of importance will come out. So, here I go...

Hubby and I really want to have a baby. It's proving much more difficult than we want. It's frustrating because I feel I am doing everything right, yet it's not happening. Ugh! Thankfully, I just found an ad in the newspaper revealing where my gyn moved to and I called this morning and got an appointment for Wednesday. Score! She's amazing and I am hoping she has some insight.

Sometimes, okay a lot of the time...maybe even all of the time... I get so tired of thinking about Ed/recovery. It totally feels like a double edged sword. I want to totally let go of all Ed behaviors, but at the same time, I feel scared to death about the whole thing.....while typing that a scripture verse came to mind. James 1:8 says 'a double minded man is unstable in all his ways.' can I get an amen? Isn't that the truth? When I am double minded, I am unstable. This causes me to stay where I am at, frozen in fear... Not yet at Gods best for my life. So, what am I to do?

James 4:8 tells me to 'draw near to God, and He will draw near to (me). Cleanse (my) hands, and purify (my) heart.

And, James 1:22-25 tells me to, 'be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving (myself). For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in the mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But, the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty (God's word), being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

Wow! Another blessing, speaking right to my heart! Thank God! It's written right here, I need to again be a doer of the word, not just a hearer of the word. I can go to church, I can read scripture, I can pray, I can proclaim God as my savior, but if I do not do what I hear/learn, I will not be changed. I will not be blessed. I will remain a woman with a double mind. (side note- how many times have you heard that there is the real you and the Ed voice....this is what the bible is referring to... A double mind. It's evil and God wants us to be healed!)

Again, Satan wants to badly for us to only hear the word, but not do what God is calling us to do. We must cling to Gods word and be people of faith. Even though I am scared, I must be a doer of Gods word. God promises that He will never give us more than we can take. We cannot wait to act until we are no longer afraid to act, that is not faith. Faith is trusting Gods word and believing him, despite what you see around you or feel/think inside of you. How will you act in faith today? How will you be a doer or the word and not just a hearer?

*** I will not fear recovery, for God says do not fear, I am with you.
*** I will not count calories, for God says do not worry about what you eat or what you drink or what you wear.
*** I will listen to and honor my body, for my body is God's temple.
*** I will live recovery because God says, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

1 comment:

  1. Such an insightful, meaningful post! I hope that we can help each other through this hard time in our lives...we WILL be holding our babies some day looking back on this as hard as it is to picture it now. we WILL.